Our DSL woes are hopefully (cross your fingers) over now. There was a short in the wire, and so even when it was “fixed” before, the problem kept recurring. This house has been around a long time, and the wire may have been old or damaged somehow.
The repairman delicately suggested that it might have had a “rodent” nibbling on it under the house. Knowing Leo’s predilection for small-animal destruction, though, I’m pretty certain we’d have long since been made aware of any resident rodent populations.
Anyway, that was weird. Several days without internet access, which was just enough time to realize I spend too much time online now — and not enough on the regular, everyday writing. It’s so funny when you realize I began a blog, and got into blog reading (and from there the whole online world), all as a result of wanting to build my writing confidence. I was an extremely disciplined, but private writer, who churned out page after page for no one to read.
Now that I’ve gotten used to a regular audience, my daily writing discipline has evaporated. Can I have both? Probably. But in moderation.
On Wednesday, I finished up the last of the freelance work in my backlog, so that there was neither internet access nor day job to keep me busy. I suddenly had huge swathes of time at my disposal. My pace slowed way down, and I had more of those deep, contemplative moments that make life so rich and deep and beautiful.
Anything I’d wanted to do, but put off because I didn’t have time, I now could do it. Paradoxically, I found myself choosing to do nothing most often. Or rather, the things I was doing weren’t the kind of things you could check off on a to-do list.
Stare at the wind ruffling the trees. Stand still at the kitchen window with the light off, just long enough to convince the shy goldfinch, now wearing his sun-bright mating plumage, that all is truly safe for a visit to the feeder. Have a nap while the soft music of the rain comes in through the open windows. Take a walk up the hill to photograph the towers of cumulonimbus clouds as a backdrop for the unfurling new growth of kudzu.
Cuddle the purring cats for far longer than usual.
Eat sugar snap peas barefoot in the kitchen garden, with the sun shining down hot, directly on the top of my head. Snap a picture to remember the moment by: two developing young peas, growing like crossed swords.
Of course, life does continue. There are dishes to be washed, errands to be run, and F.’s studies are ongoing. A new batch of work will be arriving at the end of this week, so this idyllic freedom is just an intermission. Still, I think it has held some important lessons for me in my year of focus. At the very least, week 20 has shown me exactly where the majority of my time is spent. This information is crucial for reevaluating one’s schedule and priorities.
Not that I did anything so constructive. Yet. Maybe that’s for week 21.
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I noticed this winter, when we’d lose power to the house from time to time, and I couldn’t be online, I got so much more done!
I’ve actually not been online the last few days, and know that I just don’t have time to catch up on what I’ve missed. It’s very easy to spend a lot of hours writing, and reading blogs. There’s just so much do in the garden, and around the house, and for some reason, days are only 24 hours long. It’s so difficult finding balance sometimes.
Curbstone Valley Farm´s last blog ..Eschscholzia californica
I won’t have internet access this weekend and planning on doing lots of reading. I used to read and read all the time. I hope you enjoy your time with not as much work looming.
Lynn´s last blog ..Orchard, favorites and catching up
i really like this!!!
i agree! it is crucial information and such a good point for focus- for everyone, for all of us Meredith!
elsa´s last blog ..über den wolken {over the clouds}
It is amazing how no access to the internet can affect your daily routine, isn’t it? I am also starting to slow down from posting daily, to about 4 times a week. I love your beautiful peas
Noelle / azplantlady´s last blog ..An Orange Monday Morning….
Beautiful
We need those moments of rest and reflection before we forge on.
Merrilee´s last blog ..Stop procrastinating, start writing
I get disconcerted when i lose internet service. What makes it really weird is that I’m not a digital native. I make a point to always have a book in play. It is always a pleasure to visit. jim
Jim Groble´s last blog ..hosta and stuff
So happy you are back on-line, Meredith! I think a lot of our soul work is the work that is done in the moments we think we are doing the least : )
Talon´s last blog ..Busy as…
There’s nothing more important than doing nothing for a while. We need to let our soul’s rest and absorb the peace that (hopefully) reins within our hearts.
I have been reading more and doing more art and boy, I have been sleeping a lot more – I feel far more like myself than I have done in ages.
I love the internet, I have met wonderful people, but in order to fully enjoy the company of others and to learn from them, I need to be a calm,rested, peaceful me, ready to listen.
carrie´s last blog ..Bloomn’ Monday – A red poppy
I try to schedule a do-nothing day every now and then so I can pay attention to the little things–sounds, thoughts, feelings, everyday sights I rush by. It always makes me realize how much I do on a daily basis, and I always vow to slow down and simplify. And I (almost) always fall back into my busy-busy ways. It’s an ongoing process! It sounds like you’ve really made the best of your enforced internet isolation. Hope it refreshed you!
Kathy´s last blog ..The Reward in the Journey
Enjoyed your post, Meredith. Time sure does fly when we blog! I could spend my whole day on the computer. I would much rather read blogs and not clean up the house….of course! Sometimes I just have to put my computer in a case and get it out of my sight, so I can get things done. I always feel better when I have a balance…which is hard to do! Enjoy your day.
Amy/goawayimgardening´s last blog ..When Will Your Garden Be Finished?
I love your words and your introspection. This was delightful!
Sometimes doing nothing is exactly the right thing to do! Though, I still feel guilty about relaxing too much since retirement. But sometimes we just need to set aside time to play, in whatever form or shape that might take.
Rodents can cause amazing damage to wiring and networks. In my last gig as network guru, we had rats chew through fiber optic cabling in one location, even though most of it was run in conduit. I hope your DSL woes are behind you.And it sounds like Leo has the whole varmint situation under control.
villager´s last blog ..Harvest Monday: Strawberries and More
I’d probably spend my time making lists of things I need to do online after the DSL is fixed.
Wendy´s last blog ..Still more strawberries…
Just today i was watching the wind ruffle the tree leaves! Really watching – it almost looked like the trees were talking to each other! It’s important that you have time to do those things, but I also appreciate your comment about spending so much time blogging that you aren’t spending any time actually writing. I was thinking about that today, too! I have all these ideas in my head churning around that I need to put on paper, but when is the time? Blogging has shown me there is time. I just have to establish my priorities!
debsgarden´s last blog ..Summer is Here!