The water downstream will not be clear if the water upstream is muddied.
~Korean proverb
Update 8/23/2010:
Granddaddy passed away last evening, surrounded by all his children and grandchildren, plus friends and other loved ones.
It was a peaceful death, and he knew that he was well-loved.
I already miss him.
~*~
Many of you will know, from following me on Twitter, that my grandfather has had surgery, and that I have gone to Atlanta to be with him and my family now. Although I have several August Break posts waiting in the wings, I cannot see publishing them just now. Further blog posts will be suspended until my return.
I want you all to know in advance that I appreciate your prayers and thoughts, healing energies, kind words, encouragement, and support.
What I want for Granddaddy now is whatever is best for him. I trust that that is what will happen. That doesn’t necessarily mean that what will happen now is what I want to happen. Y’all know I’m a greedy woman, and I’d frankly like to have him with me for the duration. But I also do not want him to suffer, any more than he already has.
My grandfather has struggled with the debilitating effects of Parkinson’s Disease for quite some time now. For a long time I was very angry about this disease and what it has done to him. Mostly I was angry about its cause, which is almost certainly exposure to chemical pesticides over the years. Granddaddy was one of the GIs who returned from his service in World War II to a Green Revolution in full swing, and it drastically changed the way he farmed the family land. This new wave of agricultural “progress” required chemical fertilizers, pesticides, and new equipment and machines, plus the debt to pay for it all.
All these years, we thought we knew what that debt cost us: most of the family land. As a result of that loss, I was motivated to personally research and understand what the industrial agricultural system has cost us all, economically, socially, and in terms of physical harm to the Earth, to our own bodies, and to the prospects of future generations.
But none of us realized until a few years ago the price that would be exacted on my grandfather’s own health.
Really, no one should have to pay that.
I am past the anger now. It would be silly to hold a grudge over something that happened sixty minutes ago. How much more so, sixty years?
Humanity simply did not know what it was doing. Our science understood only one tiny facet of the whole picture, and we ran with it, and my grandfather was swept up in that wave of enthusiasm, sure he was part of the new miracle that would allow us to override resource constraints and mold the Earth herself to our will. In our desire to escape uncertainty, we created new uncertainties for our world, for ourselves.
The terrible part of this story is that we are still running with it, even as the picture fills in with color and horrible detail, and even as we come to understand the awesome price we will have to pay — are already paying — for our choices. Even now, this dangerous version of agriculture continues to spread to every corner of the globe.
It is not anger we need now, but awakening. Chemical pesticides have consequences, for us all. Industrial agriculture, especially as it is currently practiced on huge, consolidated, monoculture farms, is unhealthy for the planet — and for the humans. Period.
In honor of my grandfather, I would urge you to consider the source of your food. There are many more reasons for doing so than I can put into a short post before I get on the road. But when I return I will be posting about why it is important to buy your food locally, from small family farms whenever you can. Over the coming year I want to write about CSAs, the grow-your-own movement, what a successful organic farm looks like, and other topics in a similar vein.
As always at the Enchanted Earth, I will not be preaching. My main focus here is sharing my love for this incredible, miraculous Earth and for all of us who are a part of it. The way I figure it, if we love it, if we can feel our connection to it and to each other, if we know deep down that we are truly interdependent with all that is, then our actions will tend to reflect that. The information about what and how to do the things that bring our lives into alignment with our values is out there now, and it is plentiful. What we don’t see so much of lately is why we should care — unless it’s phrased in terms of scare tactics and fear-inducing, worst-case-scenario predictions.
Maybe some of us are mostly motivated by fear. But fear tends to paralyze me, and it won’t keep me going over the long haul if I need to make a change that requires persistence and patience and pluck. The only thing that has ever worked for me in those circumstances is love, a love strong enough to sustain my desire and intention to change.
What my family is going through now is just more proof that none of us lives disconnected from the whole. What we do affects each other and our living support system, this beautiful, spinning blue ball.
For now, I dream of a day when all of our actions will be in alignment with that awareness.
Namasté, y’all.
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Oh Meredith – I know too well what that is like. Traveling mercies – and I pray for your grandfather’s recovery. Namasté.
My thoughts are with you. I hope all goes well. Thanks for all your support during my trips. jim
jim groble´s last blog ..camping with the grobles
Meredith – well said (as always). My thoughts and prayers are with you and your grandfather during this time. And they are also continually with our earth, which needs such healing and care.
Meredith,
I hope everything works out the way it’s supposed to. You have such an appreciation and understanding of nature that I know you will be at peace with whatever happens with your grandfather. I hope it is a recovery, if that’s the best thing for him.
I’ve lost so many people in my life. Most of them due to cigarettes as my parents and their parents grew up in a time when no one thought of the dangers of smoking or the addiction of it. So, I understand where you’re coming from with the pesticides. I find it hard to believe that cigarettes aren’t banned, given what we know now.
I see teenagers smoking away and I cringe because I remember the difficult health issues my relatives had.
I’m getting off my soapbox. Take good care of yourself and your granddaddy. I’ll be sending positive energy your way.
p.s. I was pleased to notice that the peaceful activist is emerging again. Perhaps she’s been fallow long enough and now it’s time to bloom again:~)
Sara´s last blog ..Schindler’s Choice
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Meredith. Safe journey.
Yes, we have do what we can in our little patches of the earth. Treat it with respect and love and nuture the good vibes. They do then to spread. It takes time, though, and sometimes I fear there isn’t enough of it.
Talon´s last blog ..Elusive
Dear Meredith, I am so very sorry to hear of your grandfather and so very much hope that hewill be restored to health. However, I am also very aware that one’s prayers may not necessarily be answered in the way in which one might wish but, equally, that they are answered. I certainly recall this in the case of my mother during her final illness with cancer. Whatever, you are in my thoughts and I shall look forward to your return.
Edith Hope´s last blog ..Name Dropping- Lady Isobel Barnett
Sending prayers to your grandfather and hugs to you.
Susie @newdaynewlesson´s last blog ..Learn From Those Who Have Done It Already
When you come back to blogging, you might like to read this. http://rajpatel.org/2010/08/19/appeal-from-la-via-campesina/ About ‘peasant farmers’ and biofuel and carbon credits. Your grandfather’s battle continues, in his body, and in other farmers. I know someone else with Parkinson’s due to childhood exposure to pesticides. Tagging along with daddy while he was spraying the fields. Will be thinking of you, and your family.
Elephant’s Eye´s last blog ..Bird Island- Lamberts Bay
Meredith, my heart goes out to you, your family and your grandfather. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
As for our food system, it is truly broken. The latest recall of eggs is yet another wake up call for everyone, or it should be. It will take a lot of us talking, teaching and maybe even preaching before we can begin to fix it.
Take care of yourself.
villager´s last blog ..Focaccia Bread
Send good thoughts your way Meredith. Take care, Susan
Susan Tiner´s last blog ..9 Bells Jingling and Ringing
Hi Meredith,
My best wishes for your granddad and hopes everything goes well.
It is somehow sad that we as a race have to learn more over our mistakes and what we thought was a good thing, later to discover the downside of it, but then it is sometimes too late for some people who were hurt in the process.
As you say, maybe some day all our actions we’ll be aligned with our awareness
Raul
Alien Ghost´s last blog ..Master of Your Own Universe
My thoughts are with you and your family for the best outcome, whatever that may be. My uncle had Parkinson’s and it is a cruel disease. I hope you find healing in the love you have for the Earth and the connection you feel with it and all its creatures.
Kathy´s last blog ..Come to Your Senses
Dear Meredith,
I am so sorry to read of your Grandfathers illness and struggle just now. I will be thinking of you and your family. Your write beautifully and wholesomely about the nature of the agricultural industry and the harm it is causing to our world and lives. I wish I could be as positive as you in thinking the chemical industry did not know what they were doing. I have read too many essays or documents that tell me otherwise, but I would like to believe your take on it all. How could greed for wealth allow men or women to put others in harms way. Reports were hidden and “progress” was unleashed… I would happily link to this post and look forward to all your upcoming ones. I so agree local and organic are the way to go… it is so hopeful and joyful really to be part of a people taking back control of their food. Blessing and peace to you there with your family in this difficult time.
Carolflowerhillfarm´s last blog ..A Royal Beginning The Metamorphosis Of The Monarch Butterfly
No price is worth
The price we pay
When loved one
Go away
desk49´s last blog ..Roams-
Sorry to hear about the troubling reason for your travels. I’m sending positive thoughts your way. I agree with you about the Earth and agribusiness/conventional agriculture. The link between autism and pesticides is now growing. Too many reasons to NOT use herbicides and pesticides. I just finished reading Anna Lappe’s “Diet for a Hot Planet,” which has nothing to do with losing weight and everything to do with food production and global warming. My favorite section was “Eat your peas–the ice caps are melting.”
Lou Murray’s Green World´s last blog ..Heading for a record harvest week!
Our ignorance treats us cruelly. May your granddaddy be blessed by those who love and comfort him, and may peace and perfect healing come to him, and to us all.
debsgarden´s last blog ..A New Woodland Path
Yes sweetheart, we are ‘truly interdependent’ and as such I feel you pain and the anguish about your grandfather. Comforting thoughts and love are being sent your way on a wind of deepest sincerity. As one who has not had any grandparents for a over 10 years and still feels the pain – I give you my heart and all my strength at this time xxxx
carrie´s last blog ..Etsy- my Happy Place – 6 Erin Carver
Safe travels, Meredith. And my best wishes for your dear grandpa too. Such an awful price to pay for so-called “progress”, isn’t it. I guess the more we try to tame things, the more problems we inadvertently end up making for ourselves. The world certainly is a big, complex living organism really… bigger than we sometimes realise. And, yes, I absolutely include myself here.
Your beautiful spirit shines in your words. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my brother this year and all I can say is take your time as you move through this process of grief/healing/growth.
I thoroughly agree with your thoughts on the state of food production. I nearly died myself last year and one of the main reasons I am still here is my love for the earth. We need to be more in alignment with the earth and reverent towards all life if we are to survive as a species.
I am so sorry your loss *hug* and glad that your grandfather is no longer suffering. And yet I know that while in once sense, that’s a comfort, in another sense it doesn’t help at all.
Just know you are surrounded by people all over the world who care deeply about you.
Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you as you grieve.
Please take care of yourself!
Andy
Andy Dolph´s last blog ..Barbara Cook – Brilliant Storyteller of the Musical Stage
Dear Meredith, I am sorry to hear about your grandfather~It’s difficult to lose loved ones. Surround yourself with loving supportive people, take care of your health and come back to blogging only when you are really rested. gail
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you gather to grieve as well as celebrate the life of your grandfather. May your support each other like the poles of a teepee, giving each other strength. And may your laugh and cry and remember with joy the time you had with your grandfather.
Ginny´s last blog ..The influence of time
Meredith, I am sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Susan Tiner´s last blog ..14 The Eighties
Meredith…My heart is sad for you and your family. I know that your granddaddy is in the right place for him. This doesn’t make it easier on you…it really is hardest on those left behind.
Just keep remembering all the wonderful things about him, write them down, share them with your family and he’ll still be with you. We lose the body, but not the essence of the person we love…
Take good care of yourself.
Sara´s last blog ..Story Photo- The Creative Mind
Dear Meredith, I’m very sorry to hear your sad news. You are in my thoughts.
Meredith, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and the years of suffering your grandfather endured. I truly appreciate your passion for a chemical free life and gardening practices, and am looking forward to your future posts featuring this topic. For now, hugs to you and your family!!
Kimberly´s last blog ..August Favorites
sending much love to you and your family. I’m so sorry your grandfather passed, sweetie.
brandi´s last blog ..mornin yall
Thank you for such a thoughtful reflection. I know that pain of loss and hope that your mission to inform and inspire can help you through these next months. You are an inspiring and beautiful writer — so much to say and said so clearly. Peace xo
My thoughts and prayers are with you in this time of grief. Your grandfather is watching you from heaven above. And am sure he is very proud of you and what you are about to do.
Powerful statements and decisions in the face of your loss and your family’s loss – learning the lessons of love and connection – so amazing, so valuable.
You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers
Patricia´s last blog ..SMILING ON A BEAUTIFUL MORNING
I’m so very sorry for your loss, Meredith. But as always, I’m so very, very proud of your gently passionate stand, and honoured to ‘know’ you across the miles. I will be holding you and your family in my thoughts in these coming days. Gentle hugs to you.
jodi (bloomingwriter)´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- Fogflora- or my garden in the mist
My condolences, Meredith. Hugs to you and yours during this sad time.
i am so sorry to read of your grandfather’s death. sending light and love your way. lighting a candle in his honor…
My heart is with you and your family. Sending all the love and light my heart can hold (and more).
Elizabeth´s last blog ..its a happy dogs life
im so sorry for your loss, my dear friend.
xo