I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.
~William Shakespeare
So, yeah, I’m not doing very well. I think I am officially going to take a blog hiatus and just allow myself to grieve and process and all that stuff.
Last week, just after the funeral, I was convinced that the best thing for me would be to dive right back into “normal” life and keep myself busy. But I see now that’s just not going to work. I need space, and stillness, time in the garden and time within the covers of my trusty notebook, time with F. and time with family and friends and, yes, time alone. Solitude, especially in Nature, has always been essential to my optimum health.
So I’m going to take that time and make that space. I’m sure y’all will understand.
I have managed to answer very few of the lovely comments since just before I got the call about Granddaddy being in the hospital. As late as last night, I was feeling very guilty about that, and I did try to catch up, starting about four posts back. Mostly because I’ve so appreciated your kind and supportive words, and I want to let you know, individually, how much. But when I woke up this morning, I realized I could let you all know here how much it’s meant to me, how touched I am that you care.
Thank you, my virtual friends.
If you want to see me online, I may well be Twittering. Although I am considering taking a hiatus there, too, for now this format seems more doable to me because it requires less effort and involvement on my part. Even so, part of me is campaigning for a full release from online activity, and if I become convinced that this is the correct path for me, my Twitter feed may go dormant for a time, too.
Should you really need an Enchanted Earth fix, don’t forget to stroll through the archives and to enjoy some Soul Food in the sidebar. (Of course, this won’t work for you old-timers who’ve been with me since the beginning. You’ll just have to be patient, I guess.)
I also plan to stop by your blogs and enjoy your words and pictures. It may be a more irregular thing than before, but I’ll still try to keep in touch.
Nonetheless, I am sure that I will miss you all, and I look forward to the day I can get back to my regularly scheduled life. For now, this is my life, and I accept the full and awesome range of it, its beauty and sadness, confusion and splendor, grace and loss, laughter and wonder and pain. I am grateful for each and every milestone in my path, whether joyful or sorrowful — or a complicated mix of both.
Namasté, y’all.
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Take all the time you need. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Liza´s last blog ..Monday Chasin’ Away the Monday Blues
Thank you, Liza. I appreciate the sympathy.
Hi Lovely Meredith,
Thank you for posting this so we know how best to support you.
I’m sending you fairy wings, moon dust, fig leaf slippers, golden rays of light, and all the love this world can contain (and then some). I’m in your corner and will be holding you in my healing vibrational arms the whole way.
Love to you.
~xo
Lori´s last blog ..Describe Your Awesomeness
Oh, Lori, all those lovely gifts in this time were just what I needed. The moon dust was especially helpful (some mysterious magic in that stuff). You are so kind. Thank you.
Take care, Meredith. The lovely thing about this medium is that it’s easy for your readers to be here when you get back. You’ll be missed.
lisahoglden´s last blog ..Open Your Eyes Open Your Ears
Lisa, it’s good to know I’ll be missed. Even better to know you’ll be around when I return.
Dear Meredith, This saddens me greatly but I am sure that you really do need a break to just be yourself and to be with F, your family and friends. Of course you will be greatly missed but we shall all, I know, be here for you at whatever point you feel up to making a return. In the meantime, take the greatest care.
Edith Hope´s last blog ..All Things Bright and Yellow
Edith, thank you for understanding, and I am sorry, of course, that my decision saddened you. I look forward to leaping back into the blogging stream again soon. Your thoughtfulness is appreciated.
Do what you need to do, Meredith. I hope you will find your way soon..
Peace.
villager´s last blog ..Past and Future Harvests
Thank you, Villager.
Meredith, I wish you the very best and look forward to your return. Hugs!!!
kimberly´s last blog ..YELLO!
Kimberly, thank you for the hugs and good wishes.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us–no need to feel guilty about taking care of yourself. Sending you warm thoughts and a big, virtual hug.
Kathy´s last blog ..Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Thanks for understanding, Kathy. You have my gratitude for the warm thoughts and wonderful virtual hug.
Meredith you have been in my thoughts and I am glad to hear that you are giving yourself the time you need to grieve. It’s so important. Hugs!
Susan, it is good to know you keep me in your thoughts. Grieving is not my favorite process in the world, that’s for sure. But I am sure it has deep and wonderful gifts to grace my life.
Loss is never easy. Adjustment takes time. You know this, so give yourself permission to mourn and to adjust, and to re-evaluate.
You have friends who hold you up with love and prayers, and who share your grief in the mystical way that we humans relate to one another.
Take your time, receive the comfort and blessing that awaits you as you move through these days.
–kd
k d mccrite´s last blog ..Mae B’s First Entry
Thank you, Kathaleen. It is so good to know I have friends who share this grief with me “in the mystical way that we humans relate to one another.” Your message made me smile.
Oh take the time you need – let your heart heel and find the words to sing and fly when it is ready. Here’s sending you peace.
The Exception´s last blog ..Waiting to Exhale
I hope my heart is already learning to limp down the runway, getting ready to fly again soon! Thank you for your kind wishes.
I will miss your regular posts, enjoy your time re-grouping – we all have to do that from time to time. I will be here anxiously waiting to pounce on any posts that come up on my feed, and rest in the knowledge that you are greatly appreciated and will be missed.
Gillian´s last blog ..Oak leaf croton
Gillian, you are so kind and thoughtful. I, too, am looking forward to the day I feel ready to put another post in those feeds. Surely not long now…
Begone, oh false guilt, that’s what I say. You have nothing to feel guilty for, Meredith. You’re travelling through some serious stuff right now. You have a big, loving heart, and she needs mending. Give her time. We’ll be here when you get back, no fear.
God bless you during this magnitude of sadness.
You’re right, Tony. It was false guilt. I’m feeling better about it now, because I so clearly needed this.
Thank you for understanding about my heart, and for your kindness.
Meredith, I too have high needs for solitude and find it essential to my well-being, so I can understand why you might be craving some time for yourself right now. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and know that we’ll all be here when you’re ready to reconnect on line. Grieving has its own logic and calendar; and can’t be rushed or subject to rational control. Be well. -Jean
Jean´s last blog ..Such Sweet Sorrow
Thanks for understanding so well, Jean. I definitely needed this time to withdraw and regroup and feel out the newest contours of my world. You are right about the grieving process being on its own calendar! As for logic, it seems so erratic sometimes I feel as if I, myself, have turned into a mystery… but I am sure there is a purpose for all of it.
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. I will be there when you return. jim
jim groble´s last blog ..tasty
Jim, thank you for the sympathy and understanding. I look forward to seeing you upon my return.
Take whatever time you need, Meredith, and be kind to yourself. Thinking of you…
Talon´s last blog ..Efflorescence
I appreciate it, Kim. I am definitely trying to be kind to myself. I suppose grieving is just like regular life, in this way: the best medicine for it all begins very close to home.
I’m so sorry to read about your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
meemsnyc´s last blog ..Todays harvest
Thank you for the sympathy and prayers, Meems.
I’ll keep droping by. Till your back on your feet and doing better. all the luck in the world.
desk49´s last blog ..Missing- Short Story Page 3
Thanks, Ellis. I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things, visiting your blog. Hope you’re doing well, too!
Sweet Meredith, I am glad to read you will take time to be with your feelings … to allow them the space and understanding so needed. Sorrow sows deeply in our souls and that is not a bad thing. To pretend it does not exist can work for some but knowing you as I do… only this little/big way… the poet in you needs to cultivate and grow lovely blooms of bereavement. There is a profundity in connecting to all threads of life… be they joyous and bright or sad and dark. We somehow need them both to be human … to grow compassion. Sun and shadows make us more whole. May you heal lightly in your way in remembering your ancestor … a beloved grandfather. Nature will embrace you … I sense … and reconnect you to your memories with moisture to soften your heavy heart. Take good care. I am sure we will all be thinking of you and look forward to your return which will be refreshed and the better for the time alone or with those you need. Sincere best wishes. Carol
Carolflowerhillfarm´s last blog ..A Regal Emergence Monarch Metamorphosis Final Act!
Carol, I think you are right about “growing lovely blooms of bereavement.” There is so much here, that I did not know intimately before. I would not, of course, have chosen it. But yes, I can see now that these dark threads will make the tapestry of my life more beautiful, more compassionate, more vulnerable, more real, more human.
Thank you, as always, for your understanding.
Allowing yourself to fully grieve is the healthiest thing you can do. LIfe is not normal even when you want it to be after losing someone you love. And the truth is that you’ll probably end up with a new “normal” because your life has changed. I’ll miss your posts, but I do have some catching up to do on your old posts. And I’m one who gets the most from good writing by reading it over and over again. I will be thinking of you. Blessings and peace -
Ginny´s last blog ..An aspect tenderly illumed
Ginny, I am touched by your kind words and consideration. It’s good to know I’ve been missed while working on the “new normal” (so wise, this).
Take care. All sadness will come to an end…
One´s last blog ..Hibiscus Rosa-Sinensis
Thank you, One. I am sure you are right.
Take care. We will miss you. May you find peace and encouragement and hope in the love of your family and in the sights and sounds of your garden.
debsgarden´s last blog ..A Good Day For Healing
Thank you, sweet Deb. The garden is a force for healing; isn’t it?
Dear Meredith
I am so sorry to read about your dear grandfather passing away. Eventually you’ll come to terms with your grief but I know from experience that that process can take quite awhile. God bless
Rosie
Rosie, thank you for the sympathy. You are right that it seems to be a longer process in the making…
I am glad that you are able to recognize what you need and to find a way to take it. Inspiring.
Sending warm wishes and the smell of flowers your way.
Elizabeth´s last blog ..why i think of my business as a yoga & music festival
Elizabeth, I got a whiff of those lovely flowers. Very pretty. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Take care, and know that many prayers are with you.
gardenwalkgardentalk´s last blog ..Grass Week
Thank you for the sympathy and prayers.
Meredith, take all the time you need, we’ll still be here when you return
Curbstone Valley Farm´s last blog ..Pesto alla Genovese
Clare, thank you. I look forward to a return in due time.
Oh no I’ve only just got here and read this. I’m so sorry for your loss. You must do what feels right for you. Writing a blog is a real commitment and if you aren’t feeling 100% on top of things it turns into a chore, and that’s not what it should be about. Better to get your house in order and return when you feel ready. We’ll be here when you do.
LL Cool Joe´s last blog ..Its my Wardrobe and Ill fart if I want to
Joe, thank you for the sympathy and for understanding I just couldn’t keep blogging right now. Just looking at a blank post screen, I felt I was facing a mountain. You are right, that’s not how I want to approach this art.
I am thinking of you Meredith. I am *so* sorry for your loss.
elsa´s last blog ..sophia’s apple cake
Thank you, dear Elsa. The sympathy means so much.
Don’t stop writing and perhaps you could dream of what you would like to plant in honor of him in your garden- and remember that the pain and sadness is only a measure of the love we have for those that have gone before us. (((HUGS)))
elsa´s last blog ..sophia’s apple cake
Aw, thanks for those virtual hugs, Elsa. I am writing, although mostly in my journal. I am continuing to grow his heirloom beans and many other things he taught me about. Maybe one day, when we own a bit of land, I will plant a tree. I think an oak sapling, which will one day tower over the land. (There’s a story behind that, of course.)
consider yourself *hugged* again!
elsa´s last blog ..happy
Lovely Meredith, I’ll also echo all those words to take all the time you need, be where you need to be and do what you need to be doing in your own heart.Friends will always be where you left them so you can find them again, both the real and virtual kind.
Heidi (GippyGardener)´s last blog ..Spring digs her toes into the earth
Dear Heidi, you are lovely, too, you know. Thank you for your understanding and kind words.
Take all the time you need, ((((Meredith))))….xo
Serena´s last blog ..Another portrait and a walk in the park
Thanks for understanding, Serena, and you have my gratitude for the virtual hug, too.
Meredith – I understand your need for time, space, and a break from blogging for a while. Please agree to get help from a professional if a reasonable amount of time does not ease your pain. For now, take care.
Wendy´s last blog ..Garden to Table Challenge – week 3
Wendy, thanks for understanding. I appreciate the kindhearted advice, too. (As someone who’s been through major depression, I won’t miss the signs I need help, I promise.)
Hi Meredith, I will miss you superb writing but understand your need. You are wise to listen and care for yourself. Blessings and hugs, Grace
Thank you, Grace, for understanding that — and for saying such nice things about my writing. I appreciate the virtual hugs and look forward to an eventual return…
Hi Meredith,
I’m sending butterflies and glitter and beauty and joy your way…May your heart feel the love from all who support you online and in life..Be kind and gentle with yourself..and please allow magic to works its wonders as you process..
Joy´s last blog ..Wednesday Wisdom- The Power and Magic of Words
I most certainly understand the need to ‘give up’ for a little while. A big virtual hug your way.
jess´s last blog ..Before and After- What Can Happen in Just 6 Months!
i’ve said it before – you have my heart x
carrie´s last blog ..Dear sweet not burny readers
Enjoy your hiatus… you deserve a nice break for “you” time. xoxo
Take care Meredith, we will miss you, and we will all be here when you get back. Take your time and we pray for your early recovery. If you have some time, you can read or see in youtube Esther and Jerry Hicks books. They are so consoling and inspiring! God bless!
Andrea´s last blog ..Its Time for Orchids Again- Catleya species
Hi Meredith .. Thinking of you at this difficult time .. grandparents are particularly special as they impact on our lives hugely. Be well and just be ..
I love your Enchanted Earth .. it looks gorgeous .. and will enjoy the blog when you return .. but I’ll have a look round in the meantime ..
With thoughts – Hilary
PS I came via Patricia .. & her blog award – congratulations ….
Hilary´s last blog ..Emoticons- Book Packaging- ebooks what was the future- is now the past
Meredith,
I just want to know that I miss you. I hope that you take good care of yourself. Allow yourself to take all the time you need to recover.
This is a time when you have to nurture yourself and give yourself whatever you need to heal. We’ll be here when you get back.
I’m thinking good thoughts about you. Be well:~)
Sara´s last blog ..Story Photo- The Book Cover
Hey Meredith – hope you are coping OK. I don’t get to monitor the blog feed as often as I’d like to but did notice the absence of your blog entries. My father in law has a very serious diagnoses so I imagine I will be going through what you are going through soon and it’s not easy. All the best and thanks for your hurricane advice, although it passed us by in the end. David
David macaulay´s last blog ..Under Crape Myrtle trees
all I can say is I understand.
brandi´s last blog ..how to turn a bad day around
you take all the time you need!!! sending you a big HUG and lots of love and positive vibes.
one love, my friend. thinking of you.
Thinking of you with love.
gemma´s last blog ..
Meredith, I want to thank you so much for the lovey postcards and sweet notes that have been arriving in my post box for the past two weeks or so. There’s always a bit of delay when things are mailed across the border, but I just got back from being away for a week and there was yet another one waiting for me (dated September 10)!
I’ve so loved recieving these jewels…enjoying your beautiful photographs and reading your kind words. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Blessings to you, dear southern friend! Kate
Kate I´s last blog ..Perspectives
Thinking of you. Weren’t you going to be moving? Your husband finished his thesis? Next chapter in your life, new house, new garden??? I hope that one day soon, your muse will point you back to us.
Elephant’s Eye´s last blog ..Chocolate- cocoa and … Dombeya
Just popped over to say I’m thinking of you at this time and hope you are ok? This was some mountain, right?
LL Cool Joe´s last blog ..Its official – my blog is so cool!
my friend,
take all the time you need.
i have thought so very much of you lately. i keep you and your family in my prayers.
xo
Hi Meredith,
Just popping in to say HI and that I continue to keep you in my thoughts. I hope you’re doing okay, dear friend. I am continuing to send you lots of love and healing ~ xo
Love, light and peace,
Serena
Serena´s last blog ..Rain- rain- go away!