With the temperatures dipping back down into the 20s tonight, the cabbage transplants had to go under cover.  Yesterday evening, I cut the bottoms off of 10 bits of waste plastic which had been carefully saved by me, my parents, my sister, and my neighbor.  (People are remarkably generous with their trash if you ask politely and explain your need.)

Seven were gallon-sized milk jugs and three were two-liter soft-drink bottles, the latter requiring a knife to cut.  Granddaddy fully approves of planting cabbages early in the season… early enough to risk losing them.  Frost only sweetens the taste of cabbage, and they are quite resistant to the cold in general.  But brand-new transplants probably shouldn’t be exposed to these temperatures plus tonight’s high winds.

He’d told me before to immediately cover the baby cabbages with empty milk jugs, which have the added benefits of raising the outside temperature a degree or two to encourage strong early growth, protecting the maturing cabbages from marauding insects, and helping them to form a compact head if the temperatures are not chilly enough to make it happen naturally.

I suppose the idea is basically like a poor man’s cloche, only instead of a lovely dome of glass or a synthetic lookalike, these are, well, let’s just say not so aesthetically pleasing.  And I’m just finicky enough about how the kitchen garden looks, even in this time when it looks nearly empty (it is not, but looks it), that I refused to put the carefully hoarded plastic stash to use when I put in the first transplants.

But, oh, well, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.  I refuse to potentially lose half of my poor cabbages because I thought, in effect, that their scarves were an ugly color.  I can be practical, even if the result is not pretty.  (What you can’t see is how my lips are pinched as I type that sentence.)

To make the whole ordeal less sordid, however, I did go outside after the moon was well up, gorgeous and bright with a soft blue nimbus in that cold air, and request protection and maybe some extra love for my darlings who are now swaddled in yucky plastic, asking that this early undercover stint be followed by jaw-droppingly beautiful, barely-nibbled, magnificent, dew-spangled heads later in the season.  I pictured them for a moment rather like pimply, whiny, superficially-minded preteens swathed in baby fat who end up as ravishing, emotionally-mature young adults with deep thoughts and wonderful ideas for saving the world.  (Hey, it does happen, and more often than you’d think!  I’ve seen it several times, and it always gives me cause for hope.)

As you can see from the photograph taken when I peeked inside this morning, so far, so good.

DSC04776

The intensity of my longing to be out in the garden has lately reached fever pitch.  And it really does feel like a fever or an illness in some ways, the kind that stays with you a long time and drags down your energy level and leaves you feeling bored and antsy and miserable, unable to do much while you wait for your body to heal or the magic cure to take effect.

But so far, that’s like trying to locate a cure for the common cold.

Growing sprouts in Mason jars won’t cure it.  Nor will watching the progress of a few lettuce seedlings on the dining room table.

Making out a garden plan and organizing the seed drawer only suppress the worst symptoms for a few days.  Soon the organized ranks of seeds start whining at you from their corner, like spoiled children who haven’t gotten what they wanted when they wanted it.

“February 1st!” cries one of the dividers every time you glance in their direction, with “February 15th!” not far behind.

Seed catalogs seem at first to help, but the hurt is merely transferred to your bank balance.  Besides, eventually the seed orders will have all been placed, and returning to the enticing pages of the catalogs may merely bring about the desire to unwisely and unnecessarily spend a little more.  (Note to self:  this applies to you, Meredith.)

Going through old harvest photographs will only exacerbate the symptoms, I discovered today.  By the time I reached the photo above, I just had to stop myself from going any further.

“This is madness, Meredith,” I whispered, only glancing far enough down the thumbnail-sized archives to realize that I couldn’t stand the torture of mouthwatering shots of heirloom tomatoes piled in haphazard fashion on my counter top, a bounty of unique shapes and colors that by late August I was treating oh-so-casually.

According to the calendar produced by the university for this region, I could be direct sowing peas, mustard, radishes, and spinach and putting in the cabbage transplants by now.  The weather is not cooperating, however.

My organic cabbage transplants were delayed by the massive snow storm that fouled up the shipping all over the continent last week, and my early pea planting probably didn’t survive two successive freak snows here.  In my heart, I like to believe that they made it through on nothing but my warm thoughts and will sprout forth any day now; but in my head, that seed is wasted, and I’ll need to resow again soon — definitely before March 15th, if I’m going by the calendar.

When I saw blue skies this morning, I thought I’d sow a little spinach at the very least.  Maybe some radishes, too.  It was a bit chilly when I went outside, but I hardly expected to find the top inch to two inches of the ground frozen, crusty and inflexible.

I stared at it in disbelief, feeling betrayed.

This is a region of South Carolina that is supposed to be even warmer on average than where I lived in Atlanta, for goodness’ sake.  It is February 17th, and I am ready to get my hands dirty now.

Now.

I know I sound like a silly brat, but perhaps God sits up and notices when you put something in italics.  (Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it were true?  I’d write the longest italicized piece in history.)

The strangest part is, I was less impatient a month ago.  You’d think the intensity would dissipate as we approach the end of the dormant season, not grow into a fierce tempest within the core of my being.  Wouldn’t you?

And here I’d always heard that gardening was supposed to make one learn patience.  I guess that only applies when one is actually gardening, and not during the off-season.

Or maybe it’s just me.

[Originally published at Victory Garden Redux.]

As I look back through the photos of the last week, it strikes me that they are on the whole pretty melancholy shots, lots of greys and browns and sepia.  I thought I should brighten it up.  All of us in the Northern Hemisphere could probably use a shot of color right about now anyway.

This is the ornamental kale, photographed while standing under the eave of the house carefully shielding the camera from the pouring rain.  (Can you see the drops actually falling in the shot?)

I’m sure my neighbors thought I’d lost it for sure, or perhaps wasn’t the smartest of human beings to begin with.

“Her porchlight doesn’t shine very bright, bless her heart,” as they say in the South.

On a side note:  Why is it that Southern women, when we are saying something vaguely insulting, add the phrase “bless her heart” or “bless his little heart” to the sentence?  I’m not sure any heart but our own needs blessing when we are gossiping and speaking less than kind words.  Nonetheless, I find it a strangely charming affectation.  (Such is the power of culture, I suppose.)

My mother took it to new heights whenever we would pout or whine as children, saying in tones dripping with mock sympathy, “Well, bless your little pea-pickin’ hearts, y’all have got it so bad!”  And it always made us laugh and realize we were being rude and ungrateful.

If I’m able to restore part of that garden plot, I may be pea-pickin’ for the first time in my life.  (Well, unless you count crowder peas.)  After yesterday’s flash flood damage, I’m even considering growing the peas in pots and letting them vine up the porch railing.

Has anyone grown peas in containers?  I’d love some advice.

No damage was done to the area slated for cabbage.  (Knock on wood.)  In fact, this photo makes me imagine the fat red heads of cabbages to come.  My transplants are arriving the second week of February, and according to my regional info for the Piedmont of South Carolina, we can plant as early as Valentine’s Day.

Wonder if F. will think I’ve lost it if I suggest that the gift I really want on lovey day is some help putting in the transplants and generally getting everything spiffy out there for the spring season kitchen garden.  Hmm…

Ah, well, he knows all about my porch light’s eccentricities by now.  After all, I wrinkled up my nose at the idea of a diamond but squealed with excitement when he bought me some red worms in a plastic bucket.

Bless all your little pea-pickin’ hearts this Friday — even though I am sure you are never rude or ungrateful, but always lovely and kind.   If your comments are anything to go by, readers of this blog are the soul of graciousness and gentle wit.

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